St. James Way

39th Hiking Day

On the way from Viana to probably Navarrete. I went to the same Albergue yesterday in which I met Marzia the last time. And like last time at this place I have a cold too. Now I follow the route where those 3 Welsh women left me and Marzia walking alone. Oddly, back then and right now I also had wet shirts and boxer shorts on my back pack. Those little things repeat along the way. I fondly remember this conversation with her. It was one of the deepest I've ever had. How can you describe the personality of Marzia in hindsight? I hope she is fine. She had never done harm to anyone. And without Marzia, I probably wouldn't walk this path now. Everything repeats itself. Even people who are incredibly similar to Marzia. I have a feeling they are all in some ways totally nuts. But why do I always feel so drawn to them? And why am I so happy that Sam is no longer talking to the guy over there? Things are what they are. Equal attracts equal. But that's not always true either. Why are they still advancing at the same speed? I so do not like that. Well, at least it's not boring. Now for heaven’s sake leave her alone! Maybe that's what connects me more with others: the sadness of life. Because you cannot always be happy.

But what you can do, is focus on yourself. I have no idea what's going to happen, who I can rely on, and where I'll end up in the end. There is always a lot of uncertainty involved. As far as I can see it, nobody did me any harm today. Then why do I feel so under pressure? I do notice that my writing is missing a thread as I now march through Logrono. Fuck it. You have to endure that.

Find your rhythm again. Simply now and today.

There are also those two guys who live somewhere between Cologne and Düsseldorf. One married to the other's sister. They are incredibly important. Not too serious, easy going. All of a sudden they just walk around the corner every time. Tada. I really like them.

Also the comment from Anne-Catherine next to me: "It just makes me happy to look at you." Unfiltered honesty. But at first I didn't know what to say. Perplexed.

And fear no darkness. Till the very end of the world.

You can tell that today is a working day. The conversations babble along but nobody really feels like it and would rather have time for himself. Including me. A dull feeling wants to spread inside me, actually has spread a long time ago. And I, I can only be myself. Dust and shadow. That's me. And Ann-Catherine very nice above all. She definitely has stamina. What can you do in these situations? Just walk.